Funny Health Quotes

Live each day like you have a significantly ¬†better health insurance plan… If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport – you will get a free x-ray and a breast exam and; if you mention AL QAEDA, you will get a free colonoscopy… I am not crazy, i prefer the term mentally hilarious… Your skin isn’t paper don’t cut it. your face isn’t a mask, don’t cares it. your size isn’t a book, don’t judge it. your life isn’t a film, don’t end it. you are beautiful… I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it’s health benefits. the other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves… An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit… People say you can’t live without love. i think oxygen is more important… I failed a health and safety course at work today. one of the questions was: “in the event of a fire, what steps would you take? “big ones” was apparently the wrong answer!… That one hour spent in the GYM is important. but the key to seeing results is how you spend the rest of your 23… Some people are ill because they care too much about their health…Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf.

But When I DO

I don’t always go to the GYM but when i do, i don’t know what the hell i’m doing.

Funny Health Quotes

Becareful About Reading

Be careful about reading health books. you may die of a misprint.

Funny Health Quotes

I’m Just Special

I’m not crazy i’m just. special! no, wait maybe i am crazy, hmmm, one second. i need to talk to myself about this .. hold on.

Funny Health Quotes

Health Insurance

Wouldn’t it be nice if retail therapy was covered by health insurance?

Funny Health Quotes

Warning Shot

Do i need to fire a warning shot into your head?

Funny Health Quotes

My Medication

Boy, i say boy.. you’re about to exceed the limitations of my medication.

Funny Health Quotes

Prepared For Marriage

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Funny Health Quotes

We’re All Crazy

Relax, we’re all crazy, it’s not a competition!

Funny Health Quotes

For All Of You

For all of you who gossip about me: thanks for making me the center of your world!

Funny Health Quotes

Dream Big

When you dream , dream big

Funny Health Quotes

Eat Less Sugar

Sat less sugar , you’re sweet enough already.

Funny Health Quotes

Clearly Explain

You must clearly explain your problem.

Funny Health Quotes

Everybody Else Does

Laugh at your problems , everybody else does.

Funny Health Quotes

Mental Health Day

I think the idea of a ‘mental helth day’ is something completely invented by people who have no clue what it’s like to have bad mental health.

Funny Health Quotes

The Best Activities

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.

Funny Health Quotes

The Word The Lazy Use

Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

Funny Health Quotes

They Forget

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons they forget to mention morons.

Funny Health Quotes

Not Caffeine

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Funny Health Quotes

If Your Dog Is Fat

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.

Funny Health Quotes

To Get Rich

To get rich never risk your health. for it is the truth that health is the wealth of wealth.

Funny Health Quotes

When People Suck The Life

When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?

Funny Health Quotes

Being Normal

Being normal is boring.

Funny Health Quotes

I Recently Applied

I recently applied for a part-time job at a mental hospital. now i’m there full-time and they won’t let me leave.

Funny Health Quotes

Feed Your Muscles

Feed your muscles right and they’ll come back for more.

Funny Health Quotes

Wake Up

Wake up with determination. go to bed with satistaction.

Funny Health Quotes

Doctors Make Mistakes

Even doctors make mistakes, mine asked me to undress.

Funny Health Quotes

There’s A Place

So you’re telling me there’s a place called GYM, where people pay to do hard work?

Funny Health Quotes

I DId It For

I did not become a vegetarian for my health, i did it for the health of the chickens.

Funny Health Quotes

Keep Smiling

So here’s me doing a little boogie my style to cheer ya up! keep smiling!

Funny Health Quotes

So Many People Spend

So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.

Funny Health Quotes

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